Trust

It has been tight here financially the past few months.  The Lord blessed us with an amazing trip to the Holy Land in December, but since January it has been tough.  I know for a fact the two are not related.  And I can tell you He has provided in amazing ways.  Yet I am so much like the Israelites wandering through the wilderness whining, complaining, and doubting.  I struggle to see His blessings in the midst of what I view as a miserable situation.  And yet He continues to bless me!  The other night I was complaining to Him, yet again, about how things were not the way I wanted them to be when I said it.

"God, I'm tired of this!  I'm tired of trusting You!"

I stunned even myself.

Because if I don't trust Him, who do I trust?  Certainly not myself.  I can't change things.  Well. I can.  But would it really be for the better?  Not if I am doing it in my own strength and not according to His plan.

So after my rant was over He loved on me and reminded me that it is when I am so dependent on Him that I am closest to Him. That He has always provided for me.  In the most horrible of circumstances, He took care of me.  He loves me more than I can imagine, even in the middle of my temper tantrum.

So I apologized to Him and asked Him to forgive me.

I know it is going to be tough for awhile, but I will trust Him, and I will grow in Him.  He has promised to never leave me.  He knows every single one of my needs, and desires.  He can do exceedingly abundantly above all I can ask, or even THINK!  He is God!  And he has blessed me tremendously in so many ways.  And He will continue to do so.

And I will continue to trust Him.

Because He Is.