Another Good-bye

Just over a week ago, Friday, June 8th, to be exact, we got the horrible news that H's cousin, David, had been involved in a horrible pit accident before the races started that night.  He was having problems getting his tire to inflate and set correctly, so he pumped the pressure up to 95psi.  When the tire finally seeded it exploded and broke the wheel which slammed against his head causing serious head trauma, killing him instantly.  It has been a long hard week, but today we saw just how many lives he touched.  The memorial was at the racetrack, and the grandstands were full. Fifteen hundred people turned out to say their good-byes.  Never before have I seen so many people at a funeral, and for one so young.  He was only 30 years old.

You will be missed, Davey-Dave.

Trust

It has been tight here financially the past few months.  The Lord blessed us with an amazing trip to the Holy Land in December, but since January it has been tough.  I know for a fact the two are not related.  And I can tell you He has provided in amazing ways.  Yet I am so much like the Israelites wandering through the wilderness whining, complaining, and doubting.  I struggle to see His blessings in the midst of what I view as a miserable situation.  And yet He continues to bless me!  The other night I was complaining to Him, yet again, about how things were not the way I wanted them to be when I said it.

"God, I'm tired of this!  I'm tired of trusting You!"

I stunned even myself.

Because if I don't trust Him, who do I trust?  Certainly not myself.  I can't change things.  Well. I can.  But would it really be for the better?  Not if I am doing it in my own strength and not according to His plan.

So after my rant was over He loved on me and reminded me that it is when I am so dependent on Him that I am closest to Him. That He has always provided for me.  In the most horrible of circumstances, He took care of me.  He loves me more than I can imagine, even in the middle of my temper tantrum.

So I apologized to Him and asked Him to forgive me.

I know it is going to be tough for awhile, but I will trust Him, and I will grow in Him.  He has promised to never leave me.  He knows every single one of my needs, and desires.  He can do exceedingly abundantly above all I can ask, or even THINK!  He is God!  And he has blessed me tremendously in so many ways.  And He will continue to do so.

And I will continue to trust Him.

Because He Is.

Sadness

About a month ago we sent Missy's puppies off with the other breeder who takes them and gets their ears cropped then sells them all for us. It has been a great deal for all involved because we don't have to do the selling and she makes extra money since she deals with all of the post-op care. She has been wonderful to work with. When she took this litter it was very hard on little D. He cried a bit. Today we were informed that our precious Prince John and Red Alert contracted parvo after the surgery and died. None of this was the fault of the other breeder. She tried so hard to save them, and was almost in tears herself telling H. It's so very sad. Even though we never expected to see them again, it hurts.